Forget Perfection

 

This popped up on my facebook feed this morning, and I feel that it's exactly what I need to hear right now.  I already miss out on singing because I don't think I'm very good at it.  As a result, I don't sing where anyone will hear me because I know that I'll get the words wrong or falter if I don't know them and because I will surely hit wrong notes.  Ironically, one of my favorite songs is about doing it anyway.  "If you want to sing out, sing out," croons Maude in her imperfect, lovable, off-key voice, "if you want to be free, be free."  

This song keeps coming back to me lately.  I've been struggling with routine.  On the one hand, I work very well in a routine.  I know how long it takes to get ready in the morning, how long it takes to make breakfast and dinner and therefore how long I get to relax and watch Netflix before I need to go to sleep.  I get groceries first thing Saturday morning, because the shelves are stocked but the crowds aren't in full force until after 10am.  On the other hand, it's become so routine that some days it feels more like a rut. 

Part of me wants to break away and do something spontaneous.  While the other part of me says, "No, because then you'll end up staying up late and going to bed later, so you either won't get much sleep and be cranky the next day or you'll sleep too long in the morning and skip breakfast and be cranky the next day..."  or "Don't squander your precious vacation time on taking the afternoon off because it's nice outside and you want to go sit in the park!  You'll need it later on."  When did I become such an old codger?

But what about the weekends?  Yes, what about weekends.  They're just as much a part of the routine as a Tuesday.  Weekends used to mean staying up late, playing Nintendo, going outside, no plans, just doing whatever feels good.  Adult weekends mean laundry, dishes, tidying the house, laundry, yard work, GROCERIES, meal planning, laundry, and if we're lucky a short trip on the motorcycle or an evening with friends.  

So the question is, how do I address my restlessness without wreaking havoc on my efficiently planned routine?  Maybe I can't.  Maybe I need to accept that sometimes it's okay to buck the routine.  I'll bounce back, I always do.  Maybe I'm a little more tired for one day.  

It's strange to think of myself as a "habit-centric" person, but I very much am.  And I've been that way for most of my life, without realizing it.  I was the odd kid who put myself to bed when I was tired, and more often than not, would ask my parents to turn down the tv in the other room so I could sleep.  I always wanted to consider myself spontaneous, but I suppose spontaneity is easier when you have plenty of free time.  Is that an excuse?  I'm not sure.  Is is possible to be spontaneous and still have a routine that works for you?  Maybe, I'll let you know if I ever figure it out.

How do you deal when life become mundane?